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Sunday, June 8, 2008
I am so...??? I may not show or say how serious I want to become a Christian, how much effort I've put in to become a Christian, how I've been trying to become a Christian, but must everything be shown through facial expression or body language or by mouth? I know that by doing these, people understand better, but not everybody is able to do these. I am not able to. Pride, maybe. Everytime I hear that I'm so close, I'm ready, there will be new things popping out at my face, pulling me back again. Making me no longer excited about the phrase "you're so close".It's been almost a year, one long year. Why am I taking such a long time? People often say "don't have to rush, take your time", but seriously, who dosen't want to be saved faster? I'm afraid to be caught not ready and die tomorrow, I'm afraid of judgement day, I'm afraid of hell. I've been trying and everthing just seem so difficult. Or have I not been trying hard enough?Pride, I hate you.